Thursday, October 31, 2013

A new beginning, Some soul searching and being honest with your slef

This year has been an amazing adventure.

I recently resigned from my job as head chef at at Clarence's  to start studying for a bachelor degree in Nutritional Medicine. I am two months into my first two units and although they are small units, they have been amazing. History of Healing and foundations of communication and counselling.

This has been my first taste of study since i left school in year 10. It is proving to be quite easy to procrastinate and i have become quite good at it.

 I just finished watching a counselling lecture about our thoughts and the effect they have on our emotions and in turn our behavior.
Our Inner Critic always telling us that we should of done this and we must do that and that if we don't we are not good enough and no one will like us.
This is the programming, our core beliefs we get as children, ether directly from people who influenced us, or indirectly from our observations of others.  The lecturer asked us to draw our inner critic, with our non dominate hand and write some of the things that it tells us. Who is this inner critic? as soon as i put down my pen, i could see her, angry face, short brown black hair. It was Mrs William.

She was the meanest woman i had met in all of my 5 years? 6? fresh out of pre-primary leaving the safe and caring playground, chocolate finger painting and moterbike riding santas of Mrs Sandylands ( she even had an awesome  name)
It was one of my first weeks in year one and she had already made one girl cry when she accidentally  wet her self and was made to wear the "Spare Undies" humiliated in front of the whole class as well as multiple other children.
When I was in year one,  I was still drawing my 3s backward, so it looked like this:
She made me, sit back  during lunch, making 3s with fluorescent orange modeling clay. I still, even then made them backward, and she didn't let me go all lunch. I just sat there, trying to make 3s crying quietly, while she told me "you must do it the other way" "How can you not know how to do this are you stupid?"

I don't think i stayed at that school for very long. my wonderful parents moved us and I went to a much nicer year one teacher who brought in lambs to class and played guitar.

Looking up at me from my page was this woman, who i had never really forgotten, but who i didn't think had that much effect on me, and here i was looking at a drawing that could of been done by my five year old self of my horrible teacher over twenty years later.
 Now these things still come up for me every now and then, however, I know now, being the awesome person i am, that I also have my Inner coach with the calming, encouraging and nurturing inner self voice
, who i listen too more often than not and that enforces the positive feelings i have about my self, I was asked to draw them:

 I see this coach as a happy looking kinda guy. He comes in and changes my attitude,  Mrs william up there is saying "you are stupid" and he comes in with
" Your not stupid look at everything you have achieved , you are awesome, you can do it."

This feminine  critic and masculine coach, has this come from my child hood too?
I always felt that my parents supported me and encouraged me, but maybe i picked up on the female insecurity of body image that my mother,sisters and pretty much every woman i have ever met have had, and the constant comparison and competition that was around me and my siblings and peers?? Because women are typically more self critical than men? Maybe because coaches of sporting teams are always stereotypically men? as i hear the word coach, i think of a male?  Because my Grandfather and father where and still are one of the biggest influences in my life?

I feel that  now, being aware of my inner critic, and being able to use my inner coach to ajust my attitude towards tasks and events in my life, makes them more enjoyable. Chores and tasks are no longer Chores because insted of the " I Must",
"I have to" and the " I should" mentality i have an "I can" and 'I will" and "I choose" out look. I can tell my inner critic that they are wrong, I'm no longer a child and i don't agree with them.

A happy Life lesson.

Mrs William. If you are still alive, I hope that you got over what was making you sad. I'm sure you where just trying to help. 

BY the way. I can Now draw, AWESOME threes!
How does your Inner Critic talk to you? do you use your inner coach?
Try to identify when your inner critic is talking, how it makes you feel and what your behaviors are as a result of that.

This post, is a prime example of my awesome procrastination skills. In comes inner critic " You shouldnt be procrastinating! you should be studying, you should be in bed already!"


Thursday, January 24, 2013

Introducing. Me.

Just a quick introduction:
My name is Tess, I live in Perth Western Australia with my beautiful husband Ian and my black cat Charcoal. 2013 has been a year of getting healthy and fit, settling into married life and working hard. After 3 and a half years of living out of a backpack and traveling and working abroad it's a big life style change.

I love to cook, I'm a chef by trade and I like to write nonsense. So hopefully I can share some of my favorite recipes with you and give you a little entertainment at the same time.
I'm a novice gardener and try to grow our own food, but I need a little more practice with that one.

I'm very into health and fitness and as I learn more and start my studies next year in Nutritional Medicine I will share with you what I learn.

Monday, January 21, 2013

Home made deodrant

I stopped wearing store brought deodorant's around 3 years ago. A trip to my local naturopath t old me that the left side of my lymphatic system was not functioning well and  was blocked.

My Beautiful and amazing mother had been warning me about the Aluminium used as the active ingredient in traditional deodorants for years and I didn't heed her word. the tip to the quack changed that!

I have been struggling to find a natural form of deodorant that works, I have tried the crystal,crystal spray forms, alcohol rub( that worked but I didn't like the idea of rubbing 80% booze under my arms) and tea tree oil because of its antibacterial properties( that also worked but my sister always said that it just made me smell like tea tree oil and BO).

SO Whilst reading about all the wonders of home made toiletries, I discovered a recipe for home made deodorant, using nothing but simple ingredients.

This recipe will make quite a bit, I this around a two month supply at least, I advent even made a dent in mine and its 2 weeks in. I would recommend separating it into two pots and freezing one to keep it fresher for longer.

Tea Tree deodorant

3Tbls Shea Butter in small blocks
3Tlbs baking soda (bicarbonate of soda)
2Tbls corn starch
2Tbls cocoa butter in small blocks
4 drops of vitamin E oil
20 drops of tea tree oil.

Melt everything but the oils in a glass bowl over boiling water until smooth, take of heat and stir in the oils. pour into a glass pot  or little glass jar and let set.

to use just scoop a little out and rub under your arms, it goes on clear and I haven't had any problems with white marks or odour.

If you don't what to smell like tea tree oil, you can replace  it with any kind of essential oil you choose. please do a spot test to make sure your not allergic  or sensitive and if it irritates, don't use it.
I haven't had any problems and I have sensitive skin so hopefully you like it too.

Once when i was walking..

once when i was walking...

by Tess Williams on Monday, 22 March 2010 at 21:42

A story i wrote for my niece Zavian.  this is one of the first drafts so needs some tweaking and working but is still quite entertaining. awaiting pictures.

Once upon a time, not to long ago, about this time last year, a few years ago, I heard a man talking of fantastic great great’s, great great’s about stories and legends’ and lakes, stories from long, long, long ago, so long ago you could never never know.

He talked whilst whistling a sweet sweet tune, of love and adventure and a funny baboon. He whistled whilst singing of love lost and love found about princes and kings with dazzling crowns, of dragons like lizards and wizards with wands, of magical kingdoms with magical songs.

As he sang he hummed hums, of bears with big bums and dogs with low tums, He hummed as he strummed and strummed as he hummed and the bears with big bums chased the dogs with low tums.

As he strummed out the story and legends of late, the king and the princes kingdom did shake and quake, the magical wizards and dragons like lizards surrounded the kingdom with a big deep lake. No one could escape.

So the Prince one night, when it was very very late, no one could see, and no one would wake, snuck from his bed and down to the yard, and he walked to the water and kneeled right down, his lips tightly pursed and with a mighty sigh he bent down to the water and started take, big big gulps of water and hake?

He sucked and he swallowed and guzzled and groaned, he wondered if he would ever fit in the throne, he drank until there was nothing left, only the fishes flapping out of breath.

The prince was  like a  giant water balloon, he could  not walk and he couldnt move, try as he might there just wasnt a chance...


Up in the tree tops surrounding the lake, where two beady eyes watching in suprise
"What is he doing this strange strange prince? Why is he behaving like this? If i didnt know any better i would say hes gone quite mad. they say  that im bonkers but im not really its true, im just like everyone else, like you and you and you!"

and with that the two beady eyes sprung from the tree and the funny baboon with a bright botttom hop skiped and jumped through the muddy banks of the lake past all the fishes and past all the hake,he reached the prince and pounced on his belly........


out came the water, out came the hake, once again there was the great lake.